First 30 days after giving Birth
Becoming a good parent means much more than knowing a lot about babies.
Ask pediatric doctors or nurses what it was like for them to be new parents.
They will tell you that all their knowledge about babies was not enough to keep
them from being overwhelmed by their own babies.
All new parents feel the same way. All new parents work at knowing,
understanding, and loving their babies. If you want to learn all about
your newborn baby, and be able to respond to his/her needs appropriately –
it is going to take a lot of your time.
You and Your Newborn Baby:
by Linda Todd
Regardless of whether labor is long or short, whether it is hard or easy whether a baby is born vaginally
or by cesarean, most parents recall the first hours and days after birth as crystal-clear images surrounded
by haze. It is in this haze that you first take in your baby and make a giant leap from pregnancy to parenting.
Despite all the anticipatory parenting done before conception and during pregnancy, despite weeks of
feeling movement within and fantasizing about your baby, despite months of having strange dreams,
worrisome thoughts, and musings about what kind of parent you will be, the first time you hold your
baby in your arms and call yourself mother or father, mama or papa, mommy or daddy, an awareness
floods over you that life will never be the same again. Another human being is now dependent upon
you for survival. More than anything else, you want to be the best parent possible.
Your awareness of your baby's dependency and your desire to be a good parent will together
be a great source of energy and a great source of stress. Both are part of being a parent.
New families in the United States face some challenges that families in most other countries
do not. In the United States, where nearly 99 percent of women give birth in hospitals,
the average hospital stay after childbirth is two days for a woman who has given birth
vaginally, three to four days for a woman who has given birth by cesarean. In many
communities, new families are discharged from the hospital within twenty-four hours
of birth. Such early discharge will probably become the norm by the year 2000.
In most other countries, both industrialized and developing, the postpartum period is
seen as being at least as important as the prenatal period. Because of this, women giving
birth in hospitals have longer stays. More importantly, services are brought to the
homes of new families. No matter how long the stay in a hospital or birth center, the
family's transition to home-and to sole responsibility for the newborn-is overwhelming.
in many countries all new families are visited at home by midwives, nurses, or
other trained personnel who teach parenting skills, assess the mother's and baby's
health, and provide moral support (and sometimes, as in the Netherlands, government-paid
helpers do the housekeeping!). In the United States, such services are now provided to
only a small minority of women.
Other Changes You May Notice.
The day after birth, you may ache all over from the work you did in labor. Your arms and legs
may be sore from pulling back on your legs while pushing out the baby.
These activity restrictions are usually recommended:
Limit stair climbing as much as possible.
Don't lift anything heavier than your baby for the first two weeks.
Ask your mate or a friend to do laundry, vacuuming, and other tasks that
require bending, lifting, or pushing for at least the first few weeks after
birth. Then resume such work gradually.
Do not drive a car for the first two weeks.
Take showers instead of tub baths until the incision is completely healed and dry.
Ask your doctor or midwife for specific instructions on the care of your incision.
Accepting Your Initial Responses to Your Baby.
Like her labor, a woman's initial response to her baby is something she remembers for a
lifetime. Women greet their babies in as many ways as there are mothers. Before they
give birth, most women anticipate a rush of loving feelings, or even tears of joy.
others anticipate instantly "feeling like a mother." Some women actually
experience these things. Many do not.
Sometimes, a woman experiences a temporary holding back from the baby whose birth
caused pain or emotional trauma. A new mother may have a feeling of distance-which
in retrospect may seem like disinterest. Or she may feel a strong need to attend to
herself, pain and exhaustion compete with interest in the baby. in retrospect, she
may see herself as selfish. Coolness, distance, self-centeredness-none of these fit
with any woman's conception of a "good mother." Because of this, many women
say they feel guilty about their initial responses to their babies.
Many women speak of feeling outside of themselves after labor. It is as
though one's personal boundaries are hazy. Is it any wonder that women feel
they are not taking their babies in-"as they should?" They can hardly take
themselves in! This is to be expected. Most women say it takes days to come
back into themselves. This is the natural rhythm of things. Something
amazing is going on. As boundaries are reclarified, they are also redefined.
You are now a mother. Your baby is no longer one with you, as in pregnancy.
But the new boundaries are extended, to connect you for a lifetime to
this other person. This connection is the essential work of the first
months of parenting. You may have all the loving feelings you anticipated,
but if you do not, give them time to evolve, as you do the work of taking on your new role.
Signs of Illness in a Newborn.
dos and don’ts when it comes to caring for the baby!
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